I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
