i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
