I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
