come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
