I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I will die if light touches me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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