We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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