I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
