i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
