one two three fourrrrnication!
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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