I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
