i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize