dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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