my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
