someone get that fucking seahorse.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
