The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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