The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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