hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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