tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize