I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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