Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
