Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
How's work?
Spinning.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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