You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I supernannyed him into submission
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
