i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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