I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I can't turn off my feet"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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