Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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