i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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