Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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