I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
