Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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