It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
