My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
where does the pee come out of this thing
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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