What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i barfeds in our rink
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
