So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize