Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
