2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
