I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
