i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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