I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
