8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
This house was built for laser tag.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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