i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
