So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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