Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Randomize