Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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