It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I looked at my own cervix.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
