You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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