Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
