I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
