I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
