He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
