On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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