porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
