I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Randomize
