I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
