Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
